Thursday, April 28, 2011

31 gifts

I have decided I want to host a 31 Gifts party. Here is a link to a catalog. Please shoot me a message to let me know if you are interested in "attending" I am hoping to get about 5 people committed to attending before I book the party. It will be an online/catalog party so no need to live near me!!

31 has so many cute items. I want to buy one of each!

Saturday, March 26, 2011

Cheap Similac

If you use similac then you will want to get in on this deal and FAST! Currently you can get 48 of the 2 oz bottles of similac advance, and 2 of the quart RTF for $25! Just go to Abbot Nutrition and order the 48 two oz bottles. It is $41.xx and it takes $50 to get free shipping. I added 2 of the 1 quart bottles of RTF at $5.99 each. This brought my total to $53.92. Use coupon code LUTEIN (expires 3.31.11) to take off $28.85! This brought my total down to $25.07 on the formula we use for Princess!!

Cheap Kaspersky after coupon and rebate

Do you need a new Anti-Virus program? Then check out Kaspersky lab Anti-Virus. You can get it for $59.99 at Use promo code KAV3U10 (expires 3.27.11) to save $10.00. Your new total will be $49.99. Then submit this $40 rebate (expires 3.27.11) to bring your total down to $10 for an Anti-Virus program for 3 users!!


Have you heard about Swagbucks? If you have not, you should check it out! What is is? It is a website that give you "swagbucks" or digital dollars for doing things you already do online! These include, but are not limited to:

Searching the web
doing surveys
watching videos

They also release codes every so often that you can enter to redeem more swagbucks! Fridays are Mega Swagbucks days and you can earn high value bucks for searching. And once you sign up, get your friends to sign up under will receive the first 1000 swagbucks they earn from searching, which is enough for 2 $5 amazon giftcards!

What do you do with swagbucks? You turn around and shop with them of course. They have a variety of items that you can turn your swagbucks in for, but my favorite are giftcards. They have several but the ones that I enjoy are...

Starbucks *can you say free coffee*
Barnes and Noble
and many others

And if giftcards are not your thing, you can cash out for money deposited into your paypal account!

So what are you waiting for? Make the most of the time you spend onlline anyway and get started now!

Friday, March 25, 2011


I am kind of back. So much has been happening. The short of it is I will be in TX in just a few days. I am at a hotel right now, but will be able to post more once I get settled in. So stay tuned!

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Bucket List

 have decided to create my own bucket list of things I want to do. I realize that it will help me dream...

1. Get an Associates degree
2. Get a Bachelors degree
3. Go on a cruise
4. Go to Ireland
5. visit every state
6. See Sugarland in concert
7.  Get a tattoo for Porkchop
8. Get a tattoo for Princess
9.  Go to Italy
10. Go to Disneyland
11. Go to Disneyworld
12. Get a bartending liscense
13. Go to Vegas
14. Become certified to perform weddings
15. learn how to wear make up
16. Lose 45 lbs
17. Become a 31 consultant
18. Host a $1000 party
19. Run in a 5K
20. Sing karaoke (I am painfully shy so this will be hard for me)

I plan on keeping this list updated. I will also be adding more when I have a little bit of time.


I have accepted the divorce. I dont like it but I am ready to move on. I NEED to move on. I have a bunch of plans for my future and I am excited to see what I can accomplish on my own. I have my kids every day and they are what are pushing me through. Their father and I are working on being friends, but it is going to take a lot of work, especially for the remainder of this deployment. There needs to be better communicating on both our parts, but I know he thinks its just my part. Acceptance is also a big one we need to work on. I need to accept that he no longer loves me and he needs to accept my diagnosis of MDD and understand when I break down over little things.

Here is to better things for me...

Tuesday, February 22, 2011


1 in 150 babies born in the US have CMV. Contracted by the mother from an infected person, CMV is then passed onto the unborn child. CMV can come from a runny nose or changing the diaper of a child carrying the virus. Liam's mom Polly is certain that she contracted CMV during a playgroup while pregnant. CMV presents as a common cold, making it difficult to detect. Children born with CMV can have complications from Blindness,mental disabilty, Deafness, Cerebral Palsy, and even death. Liam has been diagnosed with a form of Cerebral Palsy and is Deaf, he also displays chacteristics similar to autism. He walks with the help of a walker and is learning to communicate with the use of an Ipad at school. Isn't technology grand?! Last week Liam was sick. Imagine having a sick child who can not communicate with you, how do you know what hurts? It is my goal, along with an amazing group of women; to raise enough money to purchase Liam an Ipad to use at home for communication.

Ashley at Beautiful Bowtique has agreed to host a fundraiser in March (details will follow soon).

So far we have raised almost $100, this in less than a week! Donations can be sent via paypal to (comment with your email if you would like to help this sweet little boy out)
Please pass on the word for me and for Liam! 

Here are two links to articles about little liam and his prognosis:

Friday, February 11, 2011


I feel so lost lately. I do not know where to go. I feel like I am lost in some dark woods, no matter where I turn, it all looks the same. Im so tired of people saying they care, when they really do not. Im so tired of pretending Im alright, when Im not. It takes everything I have to get out of bed lately. All I want to do is sleep...

Some quotes that fit me perfectly right now...

I love sleep. My life has this tendency to fall apart when I'm awake.

It seems to me that the harder I try the harder I fall.

What do you do when you become too scared, too scared to live, too scared to die, too scared to love, too scared to even care?

Wednesday, February 9, 2011


It seems to be everywhere lately. People IRL are flaking out on me. People online have turned into horrible people. They must hate themselves if their life revolves around making other lives miserable. I considered so many people my friends. I guess I was wrong for trusting. I think I am going to take a break from posting. It breaks my heart to say this but the drama has got to me. I do not feel safe posting anywhere.

Friday, February 4, 2011

Well Ill just give the background.

On Nov 20th of last year i found out my husband was cheating on me. I came across the emails where they were professing their love for eachother. I confronted him about it when he IM'ed me. (he is deployed) He confessed to having sex with her and begged me to forgive him. I was devastated. On the 22nd I forgave him. I told him in order for us to make it work we would have to go to marriage counseling once he returned. And that he was to no longer have contact with her. He agreed to these terms telling me that he would do anything to make our marriage work. I had him give me the passwords to all of his email accounts and everything. On the 24th I found out he created another email that he was using to talk to her. I got into it and started reading the emails. It just pushed me over the edge. I started thinking about suicide (I deal with depression to begin with and am dealing with PPD since my DD was 7 weeks old) I went so far as to go into my bathroom and grab a bottle of pills and had them opened when my 4 year old walked in the bathroom to ask what i was doing. I put the pills away and called a friend to take me to the ER so I could get help. I would up in a psychiatric hospital for 10 days on suicide watch. On the 26th (day after thanksgiving) He called to inform me that he didnt love me anymore and wanted a divorce. I had to be medicated to get some sleep that night. he called me again on the 28th to see how I was doing. i begged him not to leave me, but he just informed me again that he didnt love me. I didnt hear from him the rest of the time I was there. I got out on Dec 3rd only to have him message me as soon as I walked in the door wanting to discuss the divorce agreements. It was such a slap in the face. The man I love, the father of my 3 children was just walking away from me, not caring how it was destroying me up inside. That evening I also got a visit from DHS because i had been reported for environmental neglect on the kids. Some stuff was said that was not true and i am still living with DHS social workers in my life.

Almost everytime i talked to him I begged him not to leave me, I threatened, you name it I did it. I just couldnt come to terms to how he could way away into the arms of another woman. Now its gottan to a point where i dont want him to stay anymore. it hurts me so much to know that the last 5 years have pretty much been a lie. (He told me he had not loved me in a long time)

So now I am at the point of trying to move cross country with 3 kids and my disability of being legally blind. I try to look to the future and see the positive, but thats not happening. All I can see is me struggling to get the kids to school, and daycare, and get to a job on time, all with not being able to drive. I see myself alone because no man is going to want a 23 year old single mom to 3 who is legally blind. I have no self esteem right now and absolutely hate how i look. I see him with his girlfriend (they are currently dating) and my kids around them on visitation and her replacing me. Or them badmouthing me where the kids can hear and losing any respect I get from them. I feel like i am a failure and that its all my fault. I keep trying to find out where i went wrong. I KNOW its not my fault but I cant help but feel that way. Today as I was doing dishes I just started crying because there must be something wrong with me if the father of my children cant love me. Am I just this horrible person that nobody can love? I am beginning to think maybe that is the case. I went through hell growing up in foster care. I had 5 good years with the STBXH and now everything is just shitty again. I feel like I am never going to catch a break because if it can go wrong these last 2.5 months it has.

Where do I go from here? How am I supposed to start healing when I still love him? When do you know that you are at the beginning of something and not still fighting the end?

Sorry for any typos...I have been crying the entire time writting this. I dont know why I did it, you guys dont care about my drama lol...but I just needed to get it out.

Friday, January 21, 2011


I just got done talking to the Ex about birthday parties. He said he would try to come if I let him. Told him yeah because I want the kids to have him. Told him that I didnt want HER to come. He tried to tell me that he would need help on the road, and that I was going to have to accept her since she was a part of his life now. Will I ever see her as someone other than the woman my husband cheated on me with? I do not want her at my kids parties. But I also know that she may be around for awhile. I really hope that she breaks his heart and walks away as soon as they return stateside. I would have an easier time with him dating anyone but that W***E.

I live my life through Music

Saturday, January 15, 2011

I decided

This weekend has been very hard for me. I think I was secretly hoping that the Ex and I could make it work. But today I realized that while I love him, it could never work. I would always be waiting for the next affair, for him to request divorce. I need to be in a relationship where there is trust. And as of now there is none left in ours. I hope one day we can be friends for the sake of our kids, after I am done hating him that is. I don't think I will ever stop loving him, but I know over time that love will change from lover to father of my children.

Thursday, January 13, 2011

How I feel


Why is it that I always set myself up for failure? I feel like the world is crashing in around me and all I want to do is sit in the ruins and cry. When am I going to catch a break? Im almost to the point of finding a map, closing my eyes and picking a spot. Then packing up the kids and moving there without telling anyone.

Saturday, January 8, 2011

What next?

How in the world am I supposed to pack or do any cleaning with my kids around? I was doing dishes and Porkchop comes into the kitchen with lotion on his head. Which lately isnt an unusual thing to happen. I go throw him in the tub and get Diva in as well. Go about my business, then decided to go to the bathroom. Walk into mine to discover that the lotion they got into was $100's worth of Mary Kay product. As well as ALL my B&BW hand sanitizer. Squirted out all over the floor. Guess it is a good thing I planned on cleaning that bathroom today anyway.

Amazon giveaway

I used to pick the winner of the Amazon $5 giftcard. The winner is...

Lucky #1!

Congrats Megan.

You will have 24 hours to get a hold of me so I can give you the code. If I do not hear from you I will pick someone else.

When it Rains it Pours

I had every intention of packing me and the kids up and moving cross country with them. Until I found my Power of Attorney the Ex left. I do not have the ability to clear our military housing. Which now means he can dick me around and make me stay. Yeah I could still pack up and go, but then I could not afford rent. All the BAH would be going to an empty house, instead of giving me $1275 to cover a place for me. How much can go wrong before something goes right?

Friday, January 7, 2011

Green Toys

Are you a fan of Green Toys? Then you will want to check out Right now you can get a $50 certificate to for $25! My favorite deal right now is the Recycle Truck, Fire Truck, and Dump Truck. These are currently on sale for $22.50 from $25.00. While this is not that big of a price cut it works great for you! Buy 2 of the trucks and your total will be $45.00. Use your certificate from FamilyFinds to get both for $25.00! Or $12.50 each! This is a great deal on some eco friendly toys. It may even be cheaper if you have credits from the Starbucks deal a few days ago.

NOTE: You will need to pay Shipping (was $8.95 for me) unless you have $50 AFTER the certificate code. However, you may be able to use the $5 left over on your certificate towards shipping.

 If you don't know what they are, they are toys that are made out of recycled materials. The packaging they come in is recycled as well! Porkchop got the dump truck for Christmas and it is very sturdy and he loves playing with it!


Because I want to be cool like Jess! J/K...maybe. I decided I would do a 24 hour giveaway. I have a $5 Amazon GC I am offering up. At 2 PM CST tomorrow I will randomly select a winner and post the winner's name. You have 24 hours to get in touch with me so that I can email you the code.

1. Follow my blog
2. Post a comment letting me know you follow. Please put your SN

See how easy that is?? Good luck! And if no one enters Im keeping it myself haha!!

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

It's just the beginning

Today has been really hard. I look at my house and my kids and I feel like my world is spinning out of control. If I could have, I would have stayed in bed all day. I knew that there were going to be hard days, its to be expected, but I didn't realize it would be like a smack in the face. Nothing I do is right for anybody. I have "friends" who say they are here for me but they never call or answer when I call them. I know that I have my kids so Im not alone, but Im tired of people telling me that. There is only so many days you can go where your only conversation is getting after a 4 year old to clean her room. I need adult conversation. And honestly I think I need to have a vacation. Just get away from it all. But, unfortunately I can't. I have no one to watch the kids, the dog, cat and fish. So tonight will just be like any other, me and my memories of a man who can't love me.

Monday, January 3, 2011

Right Now

I really should be cleaning the house and packing. Instead I am laying on the couch with Pumpkin while Diva and Porkchop play in her room. It is nice and quiet and I am going to enjoy it. I am going to ignore the laundry (Not hard to do since my dryer broke), and stare at the ceiling fan in amazement with Pumpkin. Wait, did I say it was quiet? Crap...better go see what the older 2 are destroying...

Who am I?

You may be wondering who I am.

My name is Crystal. I am a 23 year old soon to be single mother of 3. I love to coupon (Hey, its not just for old ladies!), love rocking out to country music, hate cleaning, love to read. I also recently discovered that I am in love with tattoos and piercings.

My kids are Diva (4), Porkchop (15 months), and Pumpkin (3 months). Diva is my sassy little smart ass. No matter what you say, she has a comeback for it. Porkchop is my little piggy. He loves to eat and recently discovered he likes his hair brushed. Pumpkin is my little princess. She is very petite. She loves to smile at any man who looks at her haha.

I am in the process of moving to Texas. I decided that I can not stay in my house here any longer, I need a fresh start. I am excited to see where life takes my kids and I. When I first found out the my husband wanted a divorce I thought my life was over. Little did I know it was just beginning.

So join me on my journey from housewife to single, working mom. I promise that there will be laughter, and tears, joys and sorrows...and maybe a little vodka!